


Chivalry Ain't Dead

by Nitrobot



Category: Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, F/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7449469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strongarm gets kidnapped by Thunderhoof to be his robot mob wife cause that's what anon wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chivalry Ain't Dead

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to write more of these two but for now have an old ficlet I wrote forever ago for tumblr.

“This is _beyond_ ridiculous.”

“I dunno what’cha complain’ about, ya’ got a nice view up there and everythin’!” Thunderhoof protested, shifting Strongarm’s weight across his shoulders. Usually she would have used it to slam him into a Decepticon-shaped crater in the ground, but with her servos lashed to his antlers it was all distributed evenly over his back.

“Oh, yes, because a view is _just_ what I’ve always wanted,” she piped, still trying to snap the bright blue ties between her hands. Her blasters were disabled by them, the circuitry’s power leeched away by the cord’s electrical dampeners- even her chronometer wasn’t working, leaving he frozen in time as they trudged across Cybertron’s badlands to… wherever the Pit they were going. _To_ the Pit, probably.

“Y’know, sarcasm don’t fit most femmes all that well,” Thunderhoof admitted, deaf to her frustrated groans. “Makes ‘em sound like ya’ carrier half the time, but you? Nah, I like it on you. Fits good. Like an oil bath after a fight-”  


His peds paused suddenly, almost making her tip over his antlers. He angled his helm so he could see her faceplate. “Yo, you wanna oil bath when we get there? I can get’cha one if ya’ want.”

“I’ll just take a pair of shears and my ped up your exhaust pipe, thanks,” Strongarm deadpanned, switching to her legs as she pummeled kicks against his back. Her peds might as well have been pillows for all the effect they had.

“Look, if you’re trying to use me as bait for the other Autobots or Enforcers or something, it’s not gonna work,” she groaned, forcing her head around so she was right in his audio. He lurched in another brief pause before shaking his helm, wiggling her around uncomfortably on his antlers.  


“Oh, I ain’t doin’ that,” he revealed.  


Strongarm thought her eyeridges were going to merge with her optics from how hard they furrowed. “Then… why are you carrying me out so far?”  


Another pause, much longer this time. “… Ain’t that what suitors s’posed to do?”  


“ _What?”_  


“Y’know, t’show he loves whatever dame he’s after? Carryin’ her off into a new life or… somethin’ like that?” He waved his servos as his processor slugged along, working out what little logic his plan had.  


Strongarm was too shocked to try struggling while he was distracted. “You’re… trying to make me your _wife?”_  


“Well, sure.” Thunderhoof shrugged as if it was obvious even to a dumbaft like him. “Ya’ hot. Ya’ the toughest gal I ever seen this side’a the planet. Pretty easy decision.”  


Strongarm made her loudest groan yet, banging her helm back against his. “Yeah, no; here’s a dating tip, super stud. If you like someone, you don’t KIDNAP them!" 

“…Oh.” She thought he reacted surprisingly well to the revelation when he was hauling her off his back, letting the rakes of his antlers cut through the cords restraining her. He placed her down in front of him, giving her a look like a sparkling learning how to read. “Well, wha’da’ya supposed to do, then?”  


Strongarm was still working out the stiffness that as drying like rust in her limbs, forcing a completely bewildered look up at him. “I don’t know…” She vented a deep sigh, placing a servo on her helm as her processor threatened to burst through it. “Look, Autobots and Decepticons can. Not. _Like._ Each other.” It was a testament to stupidity that she even had to say it out loud, and that Thunderhoof looked confused by the rule.  


“Aw, don’t be like that!” he pleaded. “I’d be a good husband, I swears!”  


“Well, _I_ won’t be a good wife,” she said sternly, crossing her servos over so she could feel when her blasters had fully warmed up.

Thunderhoof lowered his helm, his antlers practically sagging to the ground. “I ain’t even that much of a ‘Con, though…”  


She raised an eyeridge as she slowly reached for the stasis cuffs in her subspace. “You run the biggest criminal empire in the _name_ of the Decepticons,” she reminded him, to the reply of a dismissive wave.  


“That’s only for show, gettin’ all the other low-timers scared, y’know? Make them think Megatron’ll get them in recharge if they piss me off.” He fiddled forlornly with his digits, conveniently keeping his wrists together so she could snap the cuffs over them.  


“Tell you what,” she sighed, forcing herself to meet his optics and trying not to find any sympathy reflected back at her. “You don’t try this slag again, and I’ll make sure you get a comfy cell all to yourself in Iacon. Away from any low-timers who might hear _rumours._ Got it?”  


Thunderhoof looked down at his cuffs, then back up at her. “Can we walk there?”

“…Fine.” She looped the energon chain to the cuffs to lead him along. “I need the exercise anyway.”  



End file.
